Is this for real....?

I'm all for doing our bit to support those who fought for our country in various wars, however....

Lost Phone

I'm really not sure I believed this one...

WD-40

I suspect the one can of WD-40 I bought will last for my entire lifetime.

So what's with a "2 for 1" offer...?

Ikea and Free Trade Coffee

This sign tells me that Starbucks buy more Free Trade Coffee than anyone else in the world.

Surely that must allow them to really screw those f---kers waaay down on price eh?

Ikea Product Names

It must be difficult to make up ridiculous names for thousands of products and use them in multiple languages across the world without getting at least a few rude ones slipping in there sometimes.

Hands up who thinks this might be an example..

Healing stones

If certain types of rocks, minerals and crystals genuinely do have life enhancing properties, how come the people working in the shops that sell them always look so pale, miserable and sickly?

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Al Quaida cashflow issues

Just thinking about my previous post, in today's highly competitive job-seekers economy maybe other people have also spotted this news?

Maybe as we speak ex-Lehman Brothers managers are busily composing emails to be sent to Osama Bin laden (via his LinkedIn account).

"Dear Mr Bin Laden

I recently read that your organisation was experiencing somewhat of a cashflow issue in recent months, and as a result I wish to make you aware of my experience and qualifications which may allow me to be of assistance, and to therefore enquire whether there is a possibility of taking up a permanent post within your organisation.

In my most recent post with Lehman Brothers I was responsible for generating vast sums of money almost quite literally out of thin air, with only a computer screen for assistance. This sort of experience and skillset I feel would undoubtedly be of value to Al Quaida given that many other ways of raising money which require more conventional business assets such as a substantial staff, manufacturing base or other infrastructure may prove difficult to attain and maintain in Afghanistan right now, what with the lack of power, water, buildings and people due to US air strikes, remote drones and repeated artillery and ground attacks by a variety of western army personnel.

Given access to the appropriate level of initial investment I am sure I could quickly establish Al Quaida as a leading force in the international money markets, and due to the differential trading schedules this project could be undertaken only during the open house of the UK and US stockmarkets, leaving you free to continue to use your webcam and email account to record and disseminate messages to your worldwide PR list of media outlets in the remaining 8-10 hours per day.

My experience with Lehman Brothers following the near collapse of a number of Western economies has also direct relevance to assuming a post with your organisation, as as an investment banker I have during the last 12 months gained substantial experience of being fiercely persecuted by the entire Western media and also many Governments, yet like yourself I too still have managed to avoid being subject to any legal process or period of incarceration.

I have attached a copy of my CV, which lists my previous employment, my hobbies (I have recently developed an interest in both mountain climbing and caving) and I have also attached a covering note which goes into more depth on my personal role in the near collapse of Western Society - a subject which I understand is of keen personal interest to you also.

I look forward for hearing from you in due course.

Your sincerely

Mr Banker"

Al Quaida short of cash?

Al Quaida are running short of money according to CIA.

Maybe they should move to paying their suicide bombers salaries a month in arrears instead of a month in advance ..?

Listerine

Listerine has on it's instructions the note

"do not swig from the bottle"

Now, if you've ever used a mouthwash, I'm guessing you swigged from the bottle. That's what you do. That's how it is used. By everyone.

Saying "do not swig from the bottle" is like Porsche selling cars with notices saying "do not drive fast or overtake in this product" It's like expecting an MP not to fiddle their expenses.

Why not just cut to the chase and have on the label "if this product doesn't work like we promised, well tough cheese as we had our fingers crossed behind our backs when we said it would make your breath smell better and your teeth last longer. Nah Nah Nah Naaaah stoopid!!!"

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Electric Toothbrush Heads

They cost about a million pounds each, yet you still have to click on the little coloured ring yourself. Surely they could have actually finished them before they left the factory?

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