Thursday, December 29, 2005

Patio Furniture - US Style


Another "yes, it is for real" image take by me.

Scottsdale, Phoenix Arizona.

And the "since 1988" as a vague attempt to make them look like a serious, established reputable company is the cherry on top, isn't it...

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Dwarfs in Ancient Egypt

There was a "news"* story recently on the BBC website about how scientists have discovered that dwarfs were respected, and their lack of height was not regarded as either a disability or a social hindrance in Ancient Egypt. Which is good, and a big hoorah for the Egyptians!

The full article is available here.

One line stood out for me however:

"Ancient Egyptians worshipped dwarf gods, and many dwarfs held positions of authority in households. "

Or, to highlight it further -

"many dwarfs" ?

say it again?

"many" ?

Lets face it, "many" isn't a word normally applied to describe multiple dwarfs.

I think the word they actually were looking for was "seven"












(* "news" is not exactly how I would describe the discovery of something that some people used to think 4,000 years ago. Probably.)

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Supermarket Checkout Assistants

How come Supermarket Checkout staff are among the lowest paid workers in Britain,


yet whenever I try and use the self-service checkouts they seem to be the most fiendishly complex pieces of technology ever invented by mankind ??

"INCORRECT ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA !!!!!"
"REMOVE THE ITEM FROM THE BAGGING AREA !!!!!!"
"SET PHASERS ON STUN !!!!"
"DIE DIE DIE USELESS HUMANS!!!
"YOUR TIME ON EARTH IS NOW DONE!!"
" MAKE WAY FOR THE MACHINE MASTER RACE!!"

How hard can it be to operate a bar-code scanner. Well, now we know. Effing Hard.

Checkout operators??? Pahhh!

More like "I got bored of nuclear physics, and my hand-eye co-ordination is so un-naturally good the Chinese ping-pong team cited me for drug abuse" super-beings. These people aren't paid enough for the work they do, they are the elite of the entire workforce.

Why don't they ever smile? I though it was because they had spent all day engaged in a soul destroying menial repetitive task being paid peanuts, but in fact that dour, blank expression is clearly the outward manifestation of some zen-like form of hyper-concentration.

Please join me in committing never to plonk down a "next customer please" toblerone-style intra-shopping barrier with any lack of respect again.



(as a total aside, I cheekily snipped this picture from the Ireland-wide Supermarket website for "Super-Valu" supermarket. Great name anyway, but doesn't Brian Hurley - the manager in this photo - look like Andy from Little Britain ?)

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Milanese Christmas Decorations

I'm not entirely sure if this is an example of cultural misunderstanding, or whether we had accidentally drifted into the wrong part of town without noticing....



....or maybe its just me ?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Sophisticated European Drinking Culture

The recent change in UK licensing laws to allow 24-hour opening for pubs, bars and restaurants is intended to usher in a new era of pavement cafes and relaxed, sober punters sipping 1 or 2 glasses of wine each evening - and an end to last-orders madness and "12-pints-a-night" lager frenzies.

This is the so-called Sophisticated European Drinking Culture, as seen in Paris, Madrid and Milan.

So what's the most popular and fashionable drink in the bars of Milan right now ?

9% ABV Tennents Super - ON DRAUGHT!!!!

As recommended by that well known sophisticated European, the Camden Tramp...