Monday, June 29, 2009

Pregnant Women

Ever noticed how pregnant women absent-mindedly stroke their "bumps" every now and then?

It's clearly some sort of subconscious reaction, which probably signifies that they are trying to establish a maternal bond with their as-yet unborn child... either that or they are subconsciously weighting up whether they could get away without going on a diet ever again.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Old people

Where do old people buy trainers (sneakers?). Those shinky-clean white ones that look like little vinyl dogen cars strapped to their feet?

Whenecer I try and buy a pair of trainers to wear down the gym, I struggle to find any which are toned-down enough for me to wear to actually do sports - most seem to have day-glo stripes, wild laces, and odd splashes of colour all over them - never mind soles that look like they have been ripped out of the underside of a high-tech aircraft undercarriage.

But old people seem to be able to effortlessly find shoes that are so clearly devoid of any sort of sporting style or potential that it looks as if its been sucked out of them with a vacuum pump.

Maybe there is secret "Old Folks Sneaker Barn" somewhere that sells sports shoes for the nearly dead? It also must have the worlds supply of shell suits - as you can't even buy them anymore from a dodgy scouser dole-ite, except if you are old...