Thursday, November 10, 2005

Cheap Satellites & Leylandii Hedges

Many countries are now launching satellites - usually to spy on each other.

As it gets cheaper - like all technology - you will eventually (soon) be able to buy a back-garden satellite launching kit built in Korea.

And this combination of shed-based engineering excellence, and spying on your neighbour has a readily identifiable demographic target group who will find it most appealling...

The inevitable outcome is that Bose will start making and selling satellites tailored for the needs and wishes of the Daily-Mail reading non-ironic-tank-top wearing chattering classes of Middle England.

Adverts will appear in Sunday Supplements alongside unmissable offeres for collections of wedgewood plates featuring hand-painted illustrations of "Moustaches of The Leading Spitfire Aces of WW2" and "Elvis's Pet Poodles of the 60's and 70's".

Disputes over leylandii hedges will soon be resolved by laser strikes from orbit blasting the trees out of the ground if they so much as lean slightly in the breeze and cast a shadow over their gps-decided suburban plot boundaries.

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