Friday, February 08, 2008

If Star Wars was set in West London - Part Deux

The Death Star slowly moves behind the massive yellow surface of Yavin in the foreground, as many X-wing fighters flying in formation zoom toward us and out of the frame. Light from a distant sun creates an eerie atmospheric glow around a huge planet, Yavin. Rebel fighters flying in formation settle ominously in the foreground and very slowly pull away.

INT. RED LEADER STARSHIP - COCKPIT.Red Leader lowers his visor and adjusts his gun sights, looking to each side at his wing men.

RED LEADER : "All wings report in"

INT. ANOTHER COCKPIT.One of the Rebel fighters checks in through his mike.

RED TEN : " Red Ten standing by"

INT. BIGGS' COCKPIT.Biggs checks his fighter's controls, alert and ready for combat.

RED SEVEN (over Biggs' headset) " Red Seven standing by"

BIGGS : "Red Three standing by"

INT. PORKINS' COCKPIT. PORKINS : "Red Six standing by"

RED NINE (over headset) : "Sorry, I'm still stuck on the M4 just coming up to Heston services right now. The traffic's horrendous, but of course John Prescott's bloody bus lane is still empty. Why on earth they wasted all that money to set it up when all it does is create more traffic problems is beyond me!!"

INT. WEDGE'S FIGHTER - COCKPIT.WEDGE : "Red Two standing by"


RED ELEVEN(over headset) : "Red Eleven standing by"

LUKE : " Red Five standing by"

EXT. LUKE'S X-WING FIGHTER. Artoo-Detoo, in position outside of the fighter, turns his head from side to side and makes beeping sounds.

INT. RED LEADER'S FIGHTER - COCKPIT.RED LEADER : "Lock S-foils in attack position - and Red Nine, if you want to risk the cameras in the bus lane, its your call"

EXT. SPACE. The group of X-wing fighters move in formation toward the Death Star, unfolding the wings and locking them in the "X" position, with one fighter still missing from the formation.

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