Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Polish Immigrants Part III

In fact, exactly when did Poland become a hotbed of ironing, cleaning and light building work related excellence?

When I was younger, the images of Poland I saw on TV showed a nation who's three key skills appeared to be:
  1. Giving Motty the opportunity to say "and finally England will face a difficult final away game in Katowice in the World Cup / European Championship* Qualifiers. But looking at the rest of the fixtures I think they should be confident of picking up enough points in other the group matches not to make that a must-win game"***
  2. Growing Moustaches
  3. Not building ships in shipyards, as they all were on strike instead
Often 2. & 3. were combined, but rarely 1. & 2.

And 1. & 3. were never, ever combined. "After narrowly beating Andorra away through a Bryan Robson late strike, England now face the difficult task of breaking through a line of anti-government pickets and then finishing the internal fitout of over 4o twin cabins on decks 3 through 5 of the MVS Nord Zee in order to qualify for the finals in Spain. Do you think Kevin Keegans experience over the past 3 seasons in the Bundesliga with Hamburg will help us out there Jimmy?"

Once Lech Walensa succesfully took power, how did the Western media miss the transformation of a nation of blokes in caps who were well practiced at making banners and standing around lit braziers shouting "Wy jesteście złymi człowiekiem kto (który) pozostawia jego przyjaciół strajkujący !"** into a whole army of easy-on-the-eye women with good interpersonal skills and deep empathy with young children and keen and reliable hardworking carpenters with an innate knowledge of the arts of mixing cement and applying plaster?

Over the same timeframe Britain turned into a nation of overweight listless workshy chavs. What went wrong?

Maybe we should capitalise on the once-in-a-generation economic opportunity this offers us?

Britain could close all its state run schools, and ship the internees off to Poland for basic training.

Then we could simply import nice, hardworking economically productive Polish, and Polish-trained people back into the UK when they got to 17 or 18. Closing the schools would save billions in taxation, thus alowing the rate of national insurance to be lowered, and income tax thresholds to rise considerably, which in turn would make it far less likley that the incoming Polish (working) population would feel the need to try and avoid tax, thus boosting the net receipts to the UK Treasury and allowing us to invest even more in making England into truly a place Polish people would want to come and live in.

* delete as appropriate
** "You are a bad man who leaves his friends on strike" (the website wouldn't translate "scab")
*** They never did though.

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